so, as a child i was apparently very attached to everything and had extremely good manners.
i had this thing where when i went #2, before or while the toilet was flushing i would say “bye, bye, poo poo!” and wave goodbye. my parents thought it was hysterical and told everyone we knew. one day, a saturday, we were taking a nap. i’d woken up and had an accident in my “big girl” underwear and was REALLY upset. even upset, i knew my parents were napping and i didn’t want to wake them. so i went into the bathroom and tried to clean myself up. i believe i had just turned 3 years old. clearly, i was not equal to the task.
***WARNING – if you have a weak stomach DO NOT READ ON***
apparently (i’ve blocked this out, my parents had to fill me in) my parents heard me crying and yelling “BYE, BYE, POO POO!!” i had decided that the best way to fix the situation was to scoop out the poo with my hand and put it in the toilet. however, it was not that easy. it stuck to my hand and i couldn’t get it off. my mom and dad opened the door to the bathroom to see me, crying hysterically with poo all over my hands, FLINGING poop everywhere. i have been told that the poop was on the ceiling, toilet, wall, sink, floor, and myself.
luckily the scene was just funny enough that instead of being mad at me, they just laughed really hard, which just made me cry more.
they cheered me up by letting me wear my dad’s boots, because apparently that made me smile.
this became one of the first stories they would later tell future boyfriends about me.